There are ways in which the body is incredibly intelligent. There are ways in which it just operates on autopilot, with a kind of dumbness.
The body can be full of false emergencies, reacting to ghosts, to nothing. Even more so for those of us with complexly traumatic upbringings. A memory is touched off and ripples of fear, contractions of shame, overtake from out of nowhere. Reactions can be so bizarre and inappropriate to the situation, leaving the body-mind with a sense of lack of trust in itself.
There are also the ideas that the body-mind is attached to. The idea of “have to” do this, “have to” do that, in the future. Where is this future? Is it in the room with you right now? The matrix formed again, and again it was not noticed.
These are some of the ways the body-mind creates its own suffering. It’s really astounding, how much it gets twisted up in the past, trying to defend a me, mine, how much it wants to add to this imaginary me, mine by imagining a future.
In early Buddhism, if you understand the three characteristics of reality, you understand much of the dhamma. One of those characteristics is suffering. The understanding of suffering gets deeper and deeper as this pathless path unfolds. It’s much more subtle and tricky and automatic than ever imagined before.
Lately my mind has really been craving rest. It sees these false emergencies and says "whatever". Glimpses of the complete cessation of reactivity, coming from a bodily realization that there is no point in reacting. Not in this moment, or this moment, or this moment. Maybe a reaction is appropriate in this moment, considering the erratic behavior of that guy over there. The legs simply move in the other direction. And once again there is no need to react, in this moment, or in this moment…
(image from olga.klimova.art)
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So very true, but it can also be wise. I wrote recently about reactivity as just one aspect of my triad of voice. Responding and creating being the other 2. Reactivity gets a bad reputation, but I’m learning to see it more and more as a wayward child that means well (survival, boundary defence etc.) but who I can often say thanks but no thanks too. I know you want to help and I appreciate how you’ve kept me safe in the past but I need to pause and respond to this moment instead of giving you the wheel.